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3rd
Sep
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1st
Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Piece of Toast For Immediate Release: Miracle Toast? (ACPA-london) Excitement is growing in the Northern England town of Huddlesfield following news that a local man saw an image of the Big-Bang in a piece of toast. Atheist Donald Chapman, 36, told local newspaper, “The Huddlesfield Express” that he was sitting down to eat breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye. “I was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring” said Chapman. “Then to my amazement I saw the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs and the changing shades emanating outwards from the black hole. They were identical to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that one would expect following the Big-Bang”. “It’s the beginning of the world” he added excitedly.
Aug
30th
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30th
1. The Elderati Background: Although they would never admit this, the Elderati is the strongest of the ruling families. Their influence is not often direct and visible, but is instead quietly woven into almost every decision the church makes. Once you make it into the Elderati, you can never really leave. For although your official “term” might end after a year or two, you will constantly be called into conversations and decisions long after you actually attend an Elder’s meeting. It’s rumored that they all have a small letter “E” tattooed on their ankle. But since members of the Elderati never wear shorts, it’s impossible to prove. Also known as: “The only people the pastor fears.” Nemesis: The Deaconistas Signature sentence: “Have you cleared that with the Elders?
Aug
23rd
Sat
23rd
Retired Gen. Colin Powell is among the potential running mates who have been considered by John McCain, campaign advisers told Politico. Powell was among the possible vice presidential choices the Arizona Republican senator was thinking of when he said he would not rule out a supporter of abortion rights, a key adviser said.
“A true Christian could give their parrot to the town gossip.” submitted by frequent contributor Jill Van Horne Awwwk! Polly want a communion cracker! Awwwwk! (via Crummy Church Signs: True Christians have parrots??
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